Sitting in bed thinking and talking to God... Kinda wondering why he never speaks to me audibly/directly. then i was thanking him for the amazing parents, sister, friends, and mentors i have and i thought... Well maybe this is why. perhaps he put all these wonderful people around me to guide me in the path he has given me. maybe that is even him speaking to my heart. you know i feel like i say say the wrong things a lot, i do the dumbest and most awkward things sometimes. Maybe I should be paying more attention to the people in my life than myself and stop living so selfishly! God is probably just trying to get me to remember that the world does not revolve around me.. Because, if I face it, too much of the things I do are for myself. I need to get past that and live my life for God and others, not myself!

The Details in the Health Bill That Aren't Advertised...

Everyone needs health care, I get that. I understand. Really, I do. My point is that there are things in place for people who can't afford health care. So, why don't we fix the programs they have so they actually help the people they are supposed to help, rather than just go and make another program that will just make health care horrible for everyone except the elites? Of course, the elites don't care BECAUSE THEY'RE THE CONGRESSMEN making the bill! All of these people are rich, they don't care about you obviously!
So, do you want to know what they don't want you to know about the new health bill?

First of all, here is the bill itself:http://energycommerce.house.gov/Press_111/20090714/aahca.pdf

"The health care bill (HR 3200) is 1,017 pages, 12 pounds and six inches deep, with 190,000 words of great complexity and legalese."

I will add to these as I read HR 3200.

Sec. 246. No Federal payment for undocumented aliens.

Sec. 401. Tax on individuals without acceptable health care coverage.

Sec. 441. Surcharge on high income individuals.

- It will open the door to state funded abortions.

- The bill says it will not pay for undocumented illegal aliens... (So does this mean that they will pay for documented illegal aliens... so this means that Obama DID in fact lie!)

"If you are not confused about the Health Care legislation before Congress, you must not be paying attention. There is a bill of over 1000 pages. No member of Congress has read all of it. Many have read none of it.

Now Congresspeople are going home to explain to their Districts what is in the bill. But they don't know. Or if they do know, some would rather not say.

So they must face people who know things about the bill and are angry about it. Mostly all they can say is "I haven't read it" but "trust me." Or they may deny that what is actually written in the bill is there. The public is losing patience with that approach.

What Americans need to know is what the situation is in regard to health care in the U.S., now and in the future. They want the truth, not propaganda, not lies, and not being lectured by people who don't know."

Learn a lot about the healthcare plan here:

http://daylightsmark.blogspot.com/2009/07/health-care-those-who-are-not-liberal.html

Very few people, when you see them up close, fall neatly into categories. The selfish can show compassion, poets can be heartless, warriors can be gentle, the wise can make stupid mistakes, charmers can be sincere, heroes can save the world only to succumb to emotional stage fright at home. When you see peple only through the eyes of others, your impressions get flattened into caricatures...

Today, Today, it's ALL or nothing.

In the past couple of weeks, something really bad happened... Our family friend, Mr. Bobby Glaser, got in an accident while on duty when a drunk driver with a suspended license ran into him. It killed his K9 partner, Philos, and put Mr. Bobby in the hospital for a while. He is okay, but I want to encourage everyone to pray for him to feel well again soon, for the peace of his family, and the safety for all the policemen as they serve and protect. Also, I hope people (including the drunk driver) can learn from this incident. It is so sad when people make choices that hurt and/or kill good people!

My brother is married! He and Natalie tied the knot this past Tuesday in a small ceremony with the Justice of the Peace with only immediate family present. Although small, it was completely endearing and it made me tear up! I am getting more and more emotional as I get older! HA
After they got married, we went out to eat at Ruth Chris, and then Luke stalled as we went and decorated their honeymoon suite with roses, candles, and a wedding cake! All in all, it was simple but veryy sweet!

School is still school, so nothing much to say on that except it is !HARD(er)! this semester...

I was delighted to learn the other day that my guh T-Sweezie will be visiting Baton Rouge on Memorial Day. Hollaaa!

Been feeling weird/confused about a lot of stuff lately. I really can't even describe it. It's not bad, (like I'm not having questions about my religion, straightness, haircolor, race, life,etc.) In fact, it's really not important enough to even type this. I should probably delete this whole paragraph. .. . But I'm not. HA

One thing I do know about right now, is that I am living WAY too much in the future. All I can think about right now is how I can not wait until this semester is over. I think I need to find the joy in now. Even Pastor Terry's sermon was about using the time you have now for good. So, I think I should do that. I will still live for tomorrow, but I have forgotten about today! Above all, I will live for God, that's what is important! It's hard to comprehend that one day I won't be in this world anymore, and the only things I will have left are what I have given to God and let him transform into treasures of his kingdom.

30th Post Finally Rolling In...

Well I haven't written in quite awhile... obviously because of what I warned would happen, I'm busy with school. This semester is quite the buttkicker, and though I know I would be able to continue my four point oh, I just don't really care anymore. I am thoroughly fed up with my prerequisite courses and am very eager to get into things that pertain directly to my profession. Another reason why I haven't written very much is because right now, honestly, my life is completely and utterly boring. Seriously. Like I have said, I never get to see my friends that go to LSU because they have had different breaks and of course we can't eat on campus together or anything. And I never see people from SELU because they are all living in Hammond, and I commute. Also, because I live in BR, I can't really be involved with any on campus stuff, which really stinks. Andd I am and probably always will be single, so yeah, that adds up to a boring life. Me and Rachel have discussed this summer about doing some outreach stuff. We didn't know really where to begin or how to even organize anything like that, so we never progressed beyond the discussion stage. Well, this Sunday in church I heard Jen and Kirby are organizing an outreach where we will be able to go to an orphanage and go see the children. I am really excited about that because I feel like so much of my life is lived selfishly and I want to be able to help people out. That is one reason I really want to be a nurse because my profession will be helping people who are at the low points in their life. And even if my patients are difficult, hard to please, rude, or even hateful, there will still be a reward for my job that goes beyond money or personal glory. I don't really come across as the most caring or compassionate person, but that doesn't mean I don't care and I don't have compassion. Same with children. I don't come across as being someone who loves kids and all, but I really do love kids. They make my heart happy, if you know what I mean. I believe they are one of God's greatest treasures and miracles. I just hate how fast they grow up and become assimilated with the world. Speaking of children, I am going to be an Aunt! My brother is going to have a son, Colton David Cowart! I am so excited that we are going to have a little one around here soon. I really love babies and I know I won't be having any, or if I do it will be at least five years from now :( So, it's exciting to be able to experience a little miracle from the Lord. Well, that's my update for now, I am already exhausted and I have a medical microbiology test and my med microlab midterm (both huge tests, very important and hard) which I have not even begun to study thanks to the massive amount of homework I had to take care of this weekend and fall break. If you read this please pray that I do well and that I am able to actually absorb the information I study! Have much more to write about so hopefully Thursday or so I can write about everything else, once I am done with those tests.

July was a blur! And already a week into August!

I start school in a week and five days! I did very well in summer school and I should be accepted into the spring semester of nursing school. I owe that progress to God alone! Even when I have felt like I can not get any further or learn any more information he has put his blessing on me and given me the perseverance to get my work done!

Lately in my life things have been crazy. First of all, the most important thing is my cousin, Kris, who lives in Massachusetts. He has had some health problems and will be going into surgery soon. I am praying for, and I ask anybody who is reading this to pray for, not only that he makes a full recovery, but for peace for his family. Kris is very smart and was accepted into MIT, a very good school, where he was going to continue his education to pursue some amazing goals. Pray that God not only heals him, but lets him go very far with his goals!

I really wish I could go with my dad to see him, his wife, and their adorable little girl, (who I haven't even gotten to meet because they live so far away, but I can't wait to see!), but I am getting my wisdom teeth taken out Tuesday, and that will take a week to fully recover. Unfortunately, I also discovered a spot of what may be staph on my skin, so I have to go to the doctor tomorrow. (Please pray for me regarding these circumstances!)

This staph thing is crazy! Several people I know have gotten it, so it must be going around! I have written about Melissa before and she is still in very critical condition regarding her staph infection! Remembering the last time I wrote, I know it is horrible that she is still sick from her staph and I need everyone to keep her in their prayers, as well as her family, husband, and baby Kaeden. I know she is in a lot of pain and I miss her a lot, so I am hoping and praying that she starts to get better soon and quickly!

I wrote about my cousin Maddie and God answered everyone's prayers and she is now fully healed, and she has no side effects from her medication! God is faithful and I believe everything, good and bad, happens for a reason and sometimes I need to learn to trust him.

Pursuing a relationship with God can be hard sometimes because I stumble so much, (metaphorically), into sin and I allow my brain to think instead of my heart. I have a lot to learn! I need to write so much more but it is late and I am tired so I will write more later...

I can feel his blessings so much..

This past week was absolutely amazing. I'll start off by saying I entered into it in a negative way. I was thinking in my head to just brace myself because this week is just going to be such a drag. I had to work everyday except for Tuesday, on which I had a midterm in my very difficult zoology lab. All these challenges made me do something good though. I prayed. Not much, granted, but I did. Not only that, I asked people to pray for me. This past year I have found out that having people pray for you gives AMAZING results. Being in groups like my Sunday school and college group on Sunday nights is great just because we can share what is going on in my life and what I need help with. And these prayers resulted in my God helping me not only do well on my test, but have a great week at work as well! Hallelujah!

Another praise I have is that my cousin came down with a horrible case of Malaria. Me and several others petitioned God to help her get better, and he answered that prayer in a huge way. She got to go home and is responding to the medicine with the least side effects. (The other medicine could have made her permanently deaf!) Praise God!

AND ANOTHER praise is that my co-worker and friend who had a very severe infection finally started responding to her medicine and although she has some healing left to do, this is definitely a good break for her! Praise Jesus!

Another praise is how much this has allowed God to change my attitude towards things. I am always getting too wrapped up in the future and things I want to do to make me happy. And God has really reminded me this week that Christianity isn't about my self gratification! It's not about me, and if I was going to focus on that, then I had no business to even pretend to live my life for him. He definitely spoke to my heart about some things that were a huge reprimand to my thoughts, feelings, actions, and I will never forget those words.

I don't want to live my life thinking about things I could have done instead of just 'going through the motions'. I could do that. I could go through the motions and not get too much done for him. But where am I storing up my treasures. My favorite verse is Matthew 6:21, 'For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.' It is regrettably one of the few I actually have memorized, but I fell in love with it about the time that my dad got cancer the second time. To me, it says that I need to think eternal, not temporary. Not what makes me happy, but what makes God happy. And really, the things that make God happy make me happy in the long run, no matter what. The things of the Lord are the things that matter!

I could definitely feel his favor this week. And I didn't earn it is what makes me so humbled and even more devoted to him. His love is amazing, and I am happy that he is allowing me to rejoice in our deepening relationship instead of being focused on a temporary, unfulfilling relationship. One day it will be right for me, but I am content to grow in God and wait in Him. My life is given to him so he can use it as he chooses. And the God of good will not do me wrong! I am very ecstatic about all these things I have been feeling, and although I know storms will come that I will have to face, I also know that he is my rock and my strength, my fortress, and my tall tower, like Psalms 18 says (which I am trying very hard to memorize!!).

So, I hope this encourages you to pray, pray, pray, and read, read, read the word! Don't listen to Satan's lies! God's side will win, and one day, our faith will be our eyes...

Summer School is Crazy

As the title says, summer school is, indeed crazy. I'm glad now that I couldn't get into my psychology class because just taking zoology online and my zoo lab by themselves is simply psychotic! It wouldn't be bad if it was spread out over a semester, but I've only been to class THREE TIMES and next week is my MIDTERM! Yikes.

The only good thing about that is that that means that I will be finished before I know it!! Which is always a good thing with school. Right this second I just discovered that I can use my text messaging to post updates to my blog and my facebook status. It almost tempted me to get a twitter, but I'm not. I just think that if I really want everyone to know what I'm doing every second, I can just post a bunch of facebook statuses or something.

Right now, if I were president, I would quit focusing on all of the social issues of America and focus on Korea. Obama is so dumb. He has this little 'gameplan', and he is refusing to let anything else that is more important get in the way. Just imagine what hurricane season will be like if we get hit by another cat 5... provided America isn't wiped off the face of the planet by that time!

I think we need to make North Korea into a parking lot or get our CIA to do something with their leader before this gets out of hand. Well, it kinda already has gotten out of hand but, whatever. Our president's officially a moron. But that's okay, at least God is still God.

Hey this is me again! I am posting from my cell phone, so now i can post whenever! :-)

Short Summer Break

Lately I haven't really had time to write. Well, I have, but I haven't had time that I wanted to use by writing. Nothing much going on right now that I really need to write about. I am learning a lot about prayer and how important it is. Yeah, of course I already knew it was important, but it seems like something different is going on. Not sure what it is but I know I'm liking it. It's just, you know when you pray about stuff and it seems like you're talking to the clouds? My prayer life has been nothing like that lately. My prayers are getting answered quickly and with answers that leave no doubt in my mind that God had everything to do with my prayers being answered. I hope that encourages you because it definitely encouraged and encourages me! God is good, and I want to hold on to that through the good times and the bad! As they always remind us on KLOVE, "You always hear people say if God would just do this or give me this or let this happen in my life it would show that he loves us, but he doesn't need to because he died for us and that is more than enough." Or something like that. I'm not really sure how they exactly say it but I love hearing them say that because it is so true and I hate how much everyone, (especially me) take things for granted!

I'm all for counting my blessings and I would really proceed to list them if not for the fact that it would take a really long time and I'm kinda tired right now! But anyways, maybe that will be another post :)

School went very well, thanks to God because my successes are his and not mine. This summer I'm taking seven hours and then this fall I am only taking thirteen. All I need is eleven but I'm taking an extra two hours so I'll have the required 12 hours for TOPS. The extra class I'm taking is called like personal health or something weird like that, but I'm taking it because all the other classes I wanted to take were at inconvenient times and I can't change my current schedule because I have good teachers and it is hard to find a schedule that works together with all good teachers. My first choice would have been some type of kinesiology lab (those labs are like running, jogging, pilates, tennis, swimming, etc). My second choice was for me to take a piano class or an emergency health care class. I would have been really happy to have any of those classes. But, I have to take a weird random class. Oh well, maybe there will be something important I'll learn or someone important I'll meet, or who knows? Well, I'm getting even more tired and my battery on my computer is running quite low so I think I'm going to cut this short and go to sleep!

The Argument for Nuclear Power

It is a bit concise because this is a speech I spoke in my communications class. This is not the exact speech because I improvised off of an outline that I had made. What I have written is based off of the outline, however:

It is well known that oil is not a reliable energy source. We are using it at an ever increasing rate, and it is costing us more as demand goes up and oil companies manipulate the economy. It is unclean, causing concerns for environmentalists, and costing us money to fix our environment. What if I told you that there is an energy source that is cheap, clean, reliable, and well researched? This energy source is nuclear power. Nuclear power plants are an energy source that is overlooked as a solution to our oil energy crisis. Nuclear power should be used as a major energy source instead of oil. It's cleaner, cheaper, and more efficient, so let me explain to you why nuclear energy is a great energy source to hold us over until we have the perfect energy source.


There's opposition to nuclear energy because people automatically think of the absolute worst that could happen, which of course is a nuclear meltdown. I would agree that of course a meltdown would be horrible. But, people forget that we have hundreds of nuclear power plants today, but no meltdowns. Why haven't you heard of any meltdowns recently? Well, probably because there has not been an accident in the US in over fifty years now. In fact, the only accident that occurred in the US was not catastrophic, due to the containment building built around the reactor. Nobody in the public was put in danger because of this. And, the reason why these things happened was mostly because of our limited understanding of nuclear energy and radioactivity. Other energy sources have caused more deaths than nuclear plants, for example, an estimated 15,000 Americans die prematurely each year from coal-fired power plant emissions. Of course nuclear energy is by no means a permanent energy fix. There is waste from it, but it is minimal and has no effects on the air quality, making it highly preferable to oil and coal in terms of 'green' standards.
This brings me to my next point. Nuclear power is green! Excepting natural power sources like hydroelectricity, solar power, and wind power, nuclear power causes absolutely no pollution except for the radioactive waste that is given off. It doesn't contribute to the scary greenhouse gases Al Gore fanatically preaches about. The U.S. Department of Energy and Energy Information Administration reports a direct correlation between the increase of dependence on nuclear power and a decrease in carbon dioxide emissions.


The objection to clean energy sources is usually the cost. However, nuclear power is also efficient, using little uranium to produce a lot of energy, which makes it cheaper than other energy sources. According to The Eagle Tribune Online, " The cost of producing nuclear-generated electricity is 25 percent cheaper than coal and less than one-quarter of natural gas!


One major political reason we need to abandon oil and adopt nuclear energy is our dependency on foreign countries. We buy most of our oil from middle eastern countries that support political factions based on radical Islams who are not only anti American, but these factions support and give money to terrorist groups. In a way, we are funding the terrorists. That's a major selling point on nuclear energy to any person interested in our power, wealth, and security as a nation.


It is practical to consider nuclear energy as an acceptable alternative energy source. It is relatively clean, it will release us from relying on other countries for energy, and it is cheap. Fears of a meltdown are unfounded, considering no accident has happened in the past 50 years due to careful monitoring and safety precautions. I encourage you to support nuclear energy and become aware that we are in need of a change in our energy usage.

It's not me, it's Him

It's hard for me to come up with titles. Usually I wait until the end of whatever I am making or writing, then it is easier for me. I hated in English when we would be given topics to write about. It was just too limiting.

I'm writing a book right now and it's untitled. In fact, I won't even tell anyone what it's about! I really don't even like to say that I am, but I like thinking about it and this blog holds my thoughts. I won't say what it's about though because I am free to make radical plot changes and stuff. It will be a long time before I'm done though, because I write in it only every so often, when I need a diversion.

Today I finished my nutrition class and my chem lab. That means all I have left are my chem final and my comm final. Yippee! And I need to remember to check out of my dorm and get a NURSING SCHOOL APPLICATION!

I am extremely tired right now, but relaxed because I know that I don't have another test until Monday night. My mom got another goat and it is so annoying.

Riding back and forth from Hammond really gives me a lot of time to think about stuff. It is kind of changing who I am in a weird sort of way. A negative thing is that it is making me more paranoid about what people think about me, which is aggravating because that was something I kind of got over and now I have this stupid problem again. I over analyze everything about how people react to me, (and I know I do some weird stuff), and it's turning me into a really nervous person. It's really aggravating. So now I have no social skills.

But something a little more important than my lack of social skills and good personality has been coming up in my mind lately. A lot of people who aren't Christians and have completely different lifestyles, (for example: gay people or unmarried couples living together, like Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie) , always say , "Well, just because I don't share your beliefs doesn't make me a bad person."

So how can you argue with that. Sure, they may do good stuff like adopting orphans or whatever, but what is a good person?
uhmm.
Good people don't exist.
We have all sinned and fall short of perfection!
If you're not perfect, then you aren't good and if you aren't good, then that must mean you're bad. We're all bad people. That's what God's sacrifice was for.

God is good. Jesus was the only good person. That's what makes Christians good. It is God that makes us good, and only through him can we live our lives to glorify God.
It's a simple, fundamental concept of course, but I feel like we're losing it. People want to make Christians look like the good guys to the world, if you know what I mean. You can't tell people they are good when they reject God. It's just wrong.

Now, I do not think we should go around being jerks to everyone. I'm just saying that you should never budge on what the bible says. If the bible says homosexuality is wrong, then it is wrong. It says adultery is wrong, so it is wrong. Lying is wrong. Cheating and gossiping are, too. Murder is too. Softening the teachings of the bible helps nobody. In fact, it hurts our cause.

It is almost like legalizing marijuana. Just because a lot of people smoke pot doesn't mean it's not against the law, and legalizing it would be giving up the battle for good.

Okay I'm tired.

A Little Motivation

I will post the blogs previewed in my last writing. I currently have one and half finished, but I am waiting to post them since I haven't had time and right now I am at school and they are saved to my laptop (which I left at home due to some annoying extenuating circumstances)

Right now I'm in the computer lab at school and it really feels weird writing because I'm always nervous that people are looking at my screen and stuff. I don't know why, it just makes me nervous.

I just got done with my bio lab exam and I was the first person to finish and it was really super easy (and I only studied about 30 minutes!). God really gave me a light load. I would have said that I got lucky, but I shy away from the word 'lucky' now because it just doesn't seem like the right word for anything anymore.

But anyways. I'm like mini-freaking-out right now because I'm so torn over whether to even study for my chem test tonight (don't flip out, I get a dropped grade in that class and all my other grades were good). I need to study for my nutrition exam which is Wednesday. I don't have a super high A in that class and she didn't give us a study guide so I need to study really really good. But, that very same day, I have a chem lab exam which is scary because I have no idea what is going to be on that test because the teacher's on acid or something. (Not really, but he is quite a character).

Regardless, all of this typing is actually getting me somewhere. Once I get things I have to do on paper they seem way less scary. Call me weird, but academic 'to do' lists are a great motivator for me. I'll write soon, later.

And I am aware of 'steak' in my last post.

A Preview to Essays

I haven't written in quite a while considering I was on a bit of a 'writing steak'.

Spring break is officially over for me and now I have exactly THREE weeks of school left. Thanks to God! This semester isn't really killing me or anything, but I am so excited about applying for nursing school I just can NOT wait for fall semester to get here. Once I get in, (whenever that may be), I will be so relieved and feel like I'm actually getting somewhere!

This week I'm going to be delivering my last speech in my communications class. That thrills me.
This speech is going to have to be a persuasive speech. After thinking of tons of things I could do that are really controversial and would probably make everyone hate me, (I even considered doing a 'Why Bush wasn't our worst president' speech), I finally settled on the argument that we need to utilize nuclear power. I will post that once I have the finished copy, with some well argued points that no person can disagree with, regardless of what party they associate themselves with.

However, I am not going to talk about that right now. I am going to explain my frustration with the idea that President Bush was this horrible president that completely ruined our country.

Now, was President Bush my favorite president? No.
Was he one of my favorites? No.
Was he one of my least favorites? No.
Was he better than both Al Gore and John Kerry? YES.

Just getting those statements out there.
What lit the fuse?
After commenting on a very well written article by a friend, I also pointed out that Bush didn't have the power that Obama has now. Not to be a jerk, because I knew that the writer knew that and she was trying to make a point. I pointed it out because president Bush was a scapegoat for things he was not responsible for.

Regardless, after I made that comment and a few others, this guy replied with the following:

I'll comment on Linnie's note to Linnie. I needn't toil with anyone who, with a clear conscience, can support our last president.

And Katelyn, don't flatter yourself so much. My faith is in an intelligent, articulate, cautious yet unyielding optimism unseen in this country in the last eight years.

Before I elaborate, can I point out the phrase 'I needn't toil'? Does this not sound like someone who is flattering their own self? How ridiculous can you get?

I, KATELYN GRACE, HAVE A CLEAR CONSCIENCE ABOUT SUPPORTING PRESIDENT BUSH.

How about you, reader?

I tell you who I wouldn't have a clear conscience about:
A president that supports not only abortion, but infanticide. Look it up.
It goes beyond wrong. It's sick, disgusting, and if that were the only thing I didn't like about Obama, it would keep me from voting for him.

DO NOT THINK for one second that God will not recognize that YOU VOTED for a man that wants to kill babies to advance his political agenda. How sick is that?
Any human argument that says that the woman will kill herself trying to kill the baby inside of her with clothes hangers and such, is just outright moronic.
Do the few idiots who kill themselves trying to snuff out the innocent life within themselves actually make it right to legalize killing babies?

Right, just right. So that alone is why I can say that I have a clear conscience to support our last president.

And, honestly, I was going to type more. I wasn't going to base this off of that one thing, because there are many other reasons. However, I do think that is a sufficient reason for liking president Bush.

Keep an Eye out for:
President Bush: Unrighteous Infamy
The Argument for Nuclear Power
America: Calling Darkness Light (Part I)

Just call the Avon Lady

"The police all think they are God's gift to humanity and so there fore believe they can do as they please to anyone they want too and should have their power stripped from them as they are becoming a menace to society as a whole."

"This is typical police behavior. The protesters who are breaking the law and smacking windows, are allowed to continue. An innocent man who clearly is not violating any laws, is attacked. I've seen this behavior in Washington, DC on several occasions. Police tactics are enough to give you a heart attack."

"I am 72 years old. I have never been arrested or accused of a crime. However, the police where I live (Phx metro) shoot anyone with little or no real reason. I do not in any way trust the police anymore. At one time the police shot to stop someone--not to kill them."

http://news.aol.com/article/man-shoved-during-g20-protests/419986?icid=mainhtmlws-maindl1link3http%3A%2F%2Fnews.aol.com%2Farticle%2Fman-shoved-during-g20-protests%2F419986

All of these quotes were taken from comments about the article from the url pasted above.

I think people are just becoming ridiculous with the things they say about police.

For one thing, people are automatically assuming that all police are jerks who are out to get you. I find that the more spoiled and selfish a person is, the more they don't like cops. The reason being, if they get pulled over for a ticket, they think that they are special and shouldn't get the ticket. So, they have an attitude with the policeman. The policeman, who has been dealing with lawbreaking morons all day, has a sarcastic attitude right back to you. And of course whoever you are, you get all uppity and repeat the story about this big, bad cop who 'abused' his power.

When, in reality, he was doing his job and you were harassing him while he (or she, I guess) was trying to do his job. Now, how would you treat someone who was harassing you at your job, when just about every person who you come across that day is rude, disrespectful, and ignorant.
Hmmmmmm.

Needless to say, I think these people who posted these comments are morons. Like seriously, cops are not all out to get you. And they aren't dumb enough to aggressively push someone down in front of a camera unless there was a need for it. Seriously people, get a grip.

Why don't people blame the idiotic protesters who were causing the riot and confusion? Because it is their fault you know. When a policeman is at his job, he is risking his life every day. A policeman never knows when there's gonna be that crazy person who just pulls out a gun and starts shooting.

People, they go through intensive training for this. They are trained to recognize aggressive behavior or something that might indicate danger for them. And, I'm sorry, but if my dad is arresting a criminal, I would much rather him shoot the guy or knock him out if the criminal is starting to act like he was going to harm my dad.

My point in saying all of this is that I don't have a specific opinion on what happened in this riot. All I'm saying is that, most likely, it was actually an accident. Who is going to purposely shove a guy down in front of tons of people, an action which would make him lose his job and be humiliated. I was, however, disgusted by these stupid comments.

As one intelligent person commented, " If you hate policeman so much, next time someone robs your house, just call the Avon lady, I'm sure she'll handle things better. She'll be real nice to the robber too!"

Hide behind a book

I am guilty of this:
I retreat into books. Whether it be my trusty bible, a journal, or just a really good novel, I will always feel better about life in general when I read a book. Books that are boring to me include the following: a biography of myself. What I mean is that books provide an easy escape to get away from my life and be able to experience emotions that I don't just get to use every day. In books, I have fallen in love with Mr. Darcy and Gilbert, cried when Little Ann died and my favorite brother got killed in WWI, been in shock on finding out that my husband cheated on me with my assistant, experienced despair when moving to another country, and camped out on a mountain all winter long.

Books are like a little vacation that I can go to when some things in life are just not going my way at all. Usually I am reading three or four books at once. I have my daily reading with the bible, but then I have novels too. (Oh and of course I read the news on the internet every day!) Whichever mood I am in at the moment, I pick the books that is going to be the best to me at the moment.

My favorites to choose from are the Anne of Green Gables (particularly Rilla of Ingleside), Emma, Dr. Doolittle, and the Pretties. Some books just have an all around appeal to me.

Just this week the library was having a book sale (yayyyy) and I was able to buy several books (about 7 or 8, I don't remember) for only 5 bucks!! One was an American History book (just because I love American History thanks to my 11th grade teacher), another was a nice old (and beautiful) copy of Jane Austen's popular Pride and Prejudice. The others were various books that seemed good to me at the moment.

One of the books is about Dinah, (you know, one of Jacob's daughters). She got raped or whatever and Jacob's sons took out a whole city because of it. But, I thought it would be interesting to hear her side of the story (although it is fiction).

But, anyways, I won't hold off any longer. I will now go devour some literature!

Well now, ain't that lovely?

I am so tired and worn out and socially deprived. The one thing I miss about high school is getting to see and talk to friends every day. I talk to people at school and stuff, but it's just not the same as having people around who really know you and all. And, of course, it's hard to become close friends with people who don't live around here at all because of course the only time you will see each other is at school. I think the problem is none of my close friends commute to Southeastern with me. So, I don't know, I get really lonely now and it stinks. A lot. I think I must suck at socializing because I can just walk through the store or something and people look at me like I'm retarded or I have stupid written on my head. It really bothers me. But, it's all good I guess.

But anyways, school has been keeping me busy and stuff and although this semester is more challenging than last semester, I'm still doing well. I'm excited about getting to apply during the fall for nursing school and not having to stress over whether or not I'm going to get into nursing school.

And of course, once I get into nursing school I am going to have to study my butt off so I don't lose my scholarships, which would not be good. :)

God has been really good lately. He is always just there, and not only that, I am growing in him and words can't really describe the experience. All I can say is, I've got a long way to go in learning trust and faith but I am going somewhere.

I am trying to avoid getting fat, so I'm trying to eat healthier and stuff. Hopefully it will work.

And breathe... just breathe, whoa

Music means a lot to me. Although I am not the master of any instrument, my singing is just barely bareable, and I don't have the most intelligent or sophisticated taste in music, it is something that moves me. I learn from music, I feel from music, and I identify with music. There's just that something about it. Lately, I've been falling in love with a particular book of the bible. The book of Psalms, of all things! Honestly, (which this is probably really bad that I felt this way), but I used to hate that book. Why? It was the least storylike or informative of all the books. But now I just don't feel that way. Things have happened that have changed me to enable me to identify to King David and the others that wrote those words.

Music is powerful. Why else would we use it as a vessel in which we send our praises to such an Almighty God? And really, am I the only one who is so moved by it? Although you may not know it, music has made you cry. Think of the saddest movie you have ever seen. Now, are you honestly able to refute the presense of a moving song that ultimately allowed your heart to feel the emotions of the characters in the movie, even if they weren't human? It may be possible, but I doubt it!

It is just one of the ways that music touches our souls. I believe that God uses music to move me and speak to me. Not as his only way, but definately one way. That is why I watch what I listen to. Now, I LOVE Taylor Swift. It's really a guilt of mine, because the vast majority of her songs incite that teenager boy craziness that can envelop a girl. That's not why I like her songs, but I don't want to become someone who has any actions that are based on pleasing anyone besides my Lord. And, this means that I need to guard my heart, the heart so easily infiltrated by music.

So, in my long rides from Hammond, I am trying to make my heart dwell on things that should be. Call me crazy, but I think the music I listen to will change my heart for the better. And, by opening that door, I am opening myself up for God's movement in my life.

Besides, if I get in a car wreck and die, what better way to go out than singing praise to Jesus?! (haha Sorry for the morbid ending.. but still?)

Javalleujah

Instructions:
Watch the following video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7_dZTrjw9I&feature=rec-HM-r2
Think.


I think there are a lot of things this video points out, but the main thing that struck me was, if you're going to be super nice in a fake way, it has about the same effect as if you didn't notice visitors at all.

I think that we can't get wrapped up in showcasing God and everything he does, because he is amazing and self fulfilling by himself. Basically I'm saying that we need to get back down to the basics... More like a CC's type experience ;)

Notice how long it took for the two people to get their 'coffee' and how uncomfortable they felt by the end. Why don't we just serve the 'coffee' first?
1. It would make more sense
&
2. It is a more genuine way of showing you care for another person.

ps. This isn't meant to be condemning or 'in yo face', I just thought it was an interesting little video. But, if the shoe fits....

The World Revolves Around The Son

So, a lot of stuff has been going down for me lately. Not in a good way either. I had midterms this week, and I made Bs on most of them, which is not good at all, especially since I spent a lot of time studying on them. That also means I'm going to have to study really really hard this semester. I just found out that we were supposed to take two tests last week instead of one for my online biology class, so now I have a zero on a test. I sent her an email and am praying that she finds the kindness in her heart to reopen it and at least let me take the test with a docked score.

The past couple of nights I have been having bad dreams, and all have played on my big fears in life. One has been about me getting in a huge car wreck. In another one I failed a bunch of my tests and had to go to BRCC. In another dream I got hit in the face and all my teeth fell out. In another dream I am really old and had a bunch of cats that follow me around an empty house.

I don't know what it is that's bothering me but I have been way too fearful lately. I kinda feel like God wants me to just put everything in his hands and stop worrying so much. He hasn't given me the spirit of fear, so I need to have faith and not get worried about whether or not I get into nursing school or if I don't make straight As or if I never get married. Maybe I won't. If not, and I have tried my hardest, God has something better out there for him. As a Christian I should be happy and full of joy, but lately I've been really discouraged.

There's a song by Taylor Swift that kinda inspires me though, and, oddly enough, it's from her album Fearless.
It's just a sad picture
The final blow hits you
Somebody else gets
What you wanted again
You know
It's all the same
Another time and place
Repeating history
And your getting sick of it

But I believe
In whatever you do
And I'll do anything
To see it through

Chorus:
Because these things
Will Change
Can you feel it now
These walls
That they put up
To hold us back
Will fall down
It's a revolution
The time will come
for us to finally win

We'll sing hallelujah
We'll sing hallelujah
Oh

So we've been
Out numbered
When we've been
Out cornered
It's hard to fight
When the fight ain't fair

we're getting
Stronger now
From things
They never found
They might be bigger
But we're faster
And never scared

You can walk away
Say we dont need this
But theres something in your eyes
Says we can beat this

Chorus:
Cause these things
Will change
We can feel it now
These walls
That they put up
To hold us back
Will fall down.
It's a revolution
The time will come
For us to finally win

We'll sing hallelujah
We'll sing hallelujah
Oh

Tonight we'll
Stand get off our knees
For what we worked
For all these years
and battle was long
It's the fight
Of our lives but
We'll stand up
Champions tonight

And it's the night
Things changed
Can you see it now
These walls
That they put up
To hold us
Back fell down
it's a revolution
Throw your hands up
Cause we never give in

We'll sing hallelujah
We sang hallelujah
Hallelujah

I know anything I need to do in this life I can do through Christ alone. I have put too much pride in myself and school and things that I do well. He reminds me that I only do well when I do them for him.

It is really a blessing when bad things happen and discourage me, though. I can feel God reaching out to me and pulling me in. That's why he lets these things happen, and I'm glad he loves me so that he gives me what I need and not what I want. What a God I serve.

A Quick Post

I should be studying for two of my midterms I have tomorrow, but right now I wanted to give a quick post of what happened today. Went to church and worked in the nursery. The kids were insanely hyper though! It was crazy. I then went to Meme and Grandad's, ate some french dip sandwiches, then went to practice at two. Of course, I went there with the mindset of wanting to be the angel, but as we went through the play I realized they wanted a boy (or rather a man) for the job, so I wasn't really interested after that. Besides, I wanted to be one of the townspeople!! :) Well, later in the play during the part where Jesus is going to be healing people they had a part open for a demon possessed woman. haha Well, interesting roles like this interest me, especially in they include running down a church aisle screaming like a lunatic. So, I volunteered.

My mom was like, no ma'm you are not going to even act as a demon possessed woman. But I told her the woman gets healed by Jesus and it made her feel a little better. I just think it's hilarious that I have pretty much the wackiest part in the play when people know me as this really shy quiet person. I hope people don't think I'm weird after that, though.
I have a particularly blood curdling scream, so I may have to hold back so I don't scare people! But, this should be quite entertaining for me, scary for others, and hilarious to people who know me and how goofy I can sometimes be. I'm really hoping people don't think I am crazy though. I never stopped to think about that before I volunteer. Oh Well, we shall see!

After practice, I came home, walked the goats around and then did nothing for a little while then headed back to church for college age. Now, I'm here and about to go to sleep. Sorry for the most nonintellectual post!

Hi, I'm Nocturnal, What's your name?

Yeah, I'm at it again, writing when I should be sleeping. On a day before work. Same old stuff.

Anyways though, I don't have much to tell you or anything. And btw, if you're ever in the Houston area, visit the Taco Cabana. It's fantastic.

Fantastic is a great word, but I'm afraid it is horribly underused. I wish my window had a kitty door so my cats could come in. But, I guess it would get humid in here. One of these days I'm going to write a long paper on why my political ideology is right. The only problem is, the people who need to read it either A. Can't read. B. They don't feel like it-- laziness.

If A. , then it isn't really their fault, it is the fault of the system for not enabling everybody in our country to read. Yes, that's right, there are actually people in the United States who can't read.
If B., the reason they don't feel like reading it is because they have been brought up in a way of intellectual laziness. I think the majority of the US is like this now. Because we are instantly gratified with anything and everything, it makes a lot of us lazy intellectually (as well as spiritually, but that's a whole other ball game). When you get lazy in this way, you start going by your passions and how you feel (How do you think a president got elected with the campaign of HOPE?).

People were lazy and just took that HOPE label as a guarrantee. The HOPE had one problem though. Hope for who? The Democratic party? That's exactly what I think has happened. The Democrats and liberals are giddy at the power of having power over the executive and legislative branches. I really fear for the country because of how many bills have been passed at such a short time. Anyone who has looked back on our history can see that we have had to compromise to make things work for everyone.

Do you even know what the Articles of Confederation were? Think of them as basically the Constitution, except during 1777. The US Constitution we know today was not used until the summer of 1788. You know why? Because brilliant men who really wanted best for the country were willing to compromise with others who did not have the same views in order to create something that would be long lasting.

As 'open minded' as our president is supposed to be, it made MY JAW DROP when I heard his cocky, arrogant, and condenscending speech about passing the stimulus. Basically, he might as well have said, " I don't care what you Republicans think. You know why? Because I have the power to do this, I'm not even going to listen to your arguments or comtemplate on how I can make this stimulus plan better. I'm perfect, why would I need to check the final draft?"

I've also heard democrat snots saying, "Why should you have a say in the economy when your policies messed it up?"

EXCUSE ME? President Bush didn't have the power the current president has. He never had control of the legislative branch. If he did, you would have seen the economy fare better because trickle down economics WORK, (as you would know if you have taken American History or were alive during the Reagan Presidency).

By now, I know I've probably lost anybody's attention. But that's all I have to say, and it's almost 2:30... I meant to go to sleep at like, 11. great

Sleep... so how do you do that again?

So apparently I'm a moron and can not seem to make myself go to sleep at a halfway decent hour. Well, 1:41 isn't so bad, except I have to wake up at six, which makes it pretty bad. So, I got around to getting everything I live in (my car, my room) very clean and livable in. It's pretty much amazing. Next week I will begin midterms, which I have in every class except for chemistry, so I hope I can really focus and God blesses me with the ability to soak up everything I need to know. :)

But, be informed, I may not post very often in the next week.

So, I am going to be participating in an Easter play at my wonderful church Victory, so that should be fun. I am very secretly, (well I guess not anymore), hoping to be the angel!! haha My reason being that any play I have been in, I have always been an angel when there was one to play. If not an angel, maybe I can be a leper!!

Anyways, the idea of being an angel brings me back to the preschool days at Victory when we did the little Christmas play with Mary and the baby. And, EVERY YEAR they picked this girl to be Mary just because her name was Mary! I was always the angel. So, that's cool. Well, it wasn't then but now I'm glad I was the angel, because it's just enhanced my fine angel-acting skills. A while ago we were thinking about doing a Heaven's Gates and Hell's Flames production, and I signed up to be an actor for that, but we never ended up doing it! (Yes, I was secretly hoping for a coveted 'angel' position as well, though I would have settled for acting as a 'demon')

I guess I could have an acting resume. hmm Thinking back I have played as the mother of George M. Cohan, two angels in a nativity scene, in fifth grade I was an angel (who danced and sang<>), in another play I was just a regular human who sang about a treasure box?, and in another play I was an actress (haha), a couple of other plays where I just don't remember exactly what I was, and I've been in a choir for a couple of years. Too bad all of these occured under the age of 11, which is about the time when the cuteness leaves and you actually have to have talent. Oh snap! :)

Well I'm done aspiring to be an actress. Anyways, I kinda hope I actually do get a part in the production and that it doesn't end up being too consuming of my time.

I'm really going to have to kick it into high gear if I'm going to ace this semester. Which, I really need to because I do not want to have to wait to get into nursing school.

Enough on that. This economy is terrible! And our president is making it worse. Instead of helping the people that are going to be homeless and people who will struggle to feed their children, he just made a big 'pork barrel' so called 'stimulus'. PLEASE go look up just exactly what this 'stimulus' is going to be paying for too. Because, my idea of stimulating the economy does not include funding 'global warming' which has hurt our economy, sucked money out of us, and IS A HOAX. But that's all I'm going to waste precious blog space on talking about. As my facebook status says, I think it is JUST PLAIN SILLY that we devote billions of dollars to NASA and we give money away to other countries to help them ABORT THEIR BABIES, yet there are children starving to death in Africa.

There are way too many problems in this world for us to just ignore them the way we do. The other day I saw on TV they launched a 400 million dollar satellite up into the air to research global warming. It exploded.

400 million dollars exploded.

1,600 - nice middle class homes
14,000- fully loaded '09 Accords
80,000,000- taco bell meals
100,000,000- malaria pills

I don't know, you find things you think are important and find out how many of those 400,000,000 dollars could buy.

I'm blue dabadee dabadaa

This holiday has given me a lot of free time to think about life... haha Just kidding!! Well, I mean I have thought about God and life and everything a lot but that's not what I'm going to write about today because, quite frankly, I don't want every single post to bore the socks off of the 2 to 3 people who bother to read this! That being said, I will also say this blog is going to be about as pointless as that song, " I'm Blue Daba Dee Daba Da".

You know, I really hate that song, because I've tried to put my mind down in the gutter long enough to try to figure out if that song has a perverted theme behind it, but so far, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to find anything bad about it. So, I'm glad it's not bad because it gets stuck in my head a LOT... But, if you know it's like bad or something, just let me know. Don't tell me why, just tell me not to get it stuck in my head and I'll catch your drift. You picking up what I'm putting down? Great.

While I'm on that subject, I really hate it when people always try to turn everything into a sexual innuendo. Like seriously, half the time I get what they're laughing about, and then I pretend like I don't get it because I wish I didn't. Why do people like to try to corrupt innocent people anyways? You know how it says in the bible that if you cause any of these(innocent people) children to sin, you might as well tie a millstone around your neck and jump in a lake... well, I wish people would respect that.

ha.. erm.. anyways

Obviously I didn't write this in the intention of saying anything.

AND
Oh, wowsers, I cleaned my room! I don't like being messy, but my room just turns up that way because I'm never home, so I used my holiday to completely sanitize it, and it is AMAZING(and all synonyms to amazing) I LOVE CLEANLINESS!! :) Seriously, you have no idea. It really makes me happy, if you can't tell. Tomorrow I'm cleaning the inside and out of my car, kinda like a Benny's @ Home Job. Which means I don't have to pay for it. heehee

I need to save up money for nursing school cause as much as Jessica has to study I know I'm gonna have to quit my job. Hopefully I'll be able to get some scholarships for nursing school... {{Hey Jessica, I know you're reading this, and you should try to find some scholarships too, I think they have seperate ones for nursing school, and you might as well apply for some because, hey, it's free money!! }}

I really love Snip, and to end this note I'm going to give you 10 reasons why Snip's the best cat in the world!!

10 OF the MANY Reasons Why Snip is the best kitty cat in the world!!
1. When I rode the school bus, he would wait at the end of the driveway for me to get on and sometimes even when I got home!!
2. He can be a very comfortable pillow!
3. He makes me feel loved when I feel like nobody else on Earth remembers me.
4. He is so cute when he sleeps!!
5. He has such an attitude but still loves me.
6. His meow is so funny!
7. He follows me around the house before I go to sleep because he wants to get in bed with me.
8. He knows how to open doors.
9. When you really make him mad he bites you and it's sooo cute!
10. He 'head butts' me so I'll scratch his head.
(Other reasons like he is Siamese is not included!)

Create in me a Pure Heart, Oh God...

Reading through Psalms 51, I found how closely I can relate. This was what David wrote when the prophet Nathan came to him after David committed adultery.

When I pray, I have learned from a book by Bill Hybels to follow a little layout called ACTS(http://www.prayerguide.org.uk/actsmodel.htm). I haven't truly followed it yet, but it helps me understand a lot about praying. A is for ADORATION. We must first adore God and go over everything (well try to go over a lot) of how amazing and majestic the God is we serve. This puts one in the correct attitude to pray. C is for CONFESSION. Confessing sins is so important to a relationship to God. Well, I think it is, because if you don't confess your sins, you will find yourself thinking of what a good little person you have been lately, when of course you aren't! Confessing sins also is a great way to finally get rid of that sin, because, sooner or later, you're going to get tired (and shamed) at having to bring such filth to God.

When I get to the confessions, I always think about how much I need a pure heart. Sure, every now and then I'll get to that point where I may do something simply for the glory of God, but sometimes I feel like I want some reward for the good things I do on Earth right now. And my spirit rebukes myself (I know this is all a little schitzophrenic, but does anyone else experience this daily battle?!) for thinking such evil thoughts all the time. Sometimes it drives me crazy, and I know if I get that disgusted with myself, what does God think. I hate it when I get angry or passionate about things that don't matter, or when I doubt God's power. I do desire a pure heart, and the only thing stopping God from creating it is myself of course. WOW, I am definately a work in progress, and sometimes I fear I'm falling behind where I should be right now. I really want God to use me on one hand, but sometimes I let myself fall into fear of what I may have to sacrifice. It's really horrible and selfish of me, but I refuse to lie about it, because if I'm honest about it, I think it will help me get over my fears and make whatever plunge God will need me to make!

Haha... Cash is sleeping by my feet and he makes these weird snoring/gurgling/weird noises all the time.

Anyways, though, I just wanted to share my heart on that matter and I left the link above so you can see the rest of ACTS, because I think it is really great. Gooood night!

Today!

Today was pretty long and boring, but not too bad. I woke up and went to school, but I was late because I woke up at like 7:40, when I usually try to leave at 7:45. :) So, I ended up leaving at about 8:00. Usually when I leave that late I make it there in time, but there were no parking spots available so I had to park in the overflow parking. But it was just psychology and he doesn't care if you leave late or early or don't come at all. But anyways, I had my chem lab and then my communications class. Today, we went to the southeastern studio and I got to talk into a teleprompter on a real set!! It was so cool, it kind of made me want to be a newsperson!! :) haha Then I had an hour break and then I went to my most boring class, Nutrition. I don't know how that class manages to be my most interesting and yet my most boring class! I always am so tired in that class, I think maybe it's just that time of day, because when I was in high school and I had classes at that time I always had to try not to nod off. I feel bad though because before class some guy asked me for five ones and I only had three, so he just gave me the five and took the three... So I HAVE to remember to give him the rest of the money in two weeks, but I'm sure I'll remember because I felt bad for him just giving me two dollars! Then, I finally got to go home, and when I did I took a LONG nap. Apparently too long, because I set my alarm so I could take a shower before church, and I didn't wake up! So, I got to church late, but we just had game night because the school was having science fair. We played put-out, which I somehow didn't do too horrible even thought I'm really bad at basketball. haha But anyways, then we played battleball, and our team won the first one and lost the second two. :( And the balls were bigger, so I couldn't really throw, so I gave them to people who could throw without people on the other team catching them. So, that means I always ended up being the last person. :) So, the second game they made me throw it, so I threw it at Maddie, and she caught it!! lol So, the second game it was me and Rachel I think left, and Joe threw it at me and I tried to catch it but it slipped out of my hands. Rachel got out at the same time... so we lost again. So, I bent down to pick up the ball I dropped, idk why, and then I look up and Stephen chunks a ball at my face!! HAHA Well, I didn't laugh then, I was pretty mad and I guess surprised. So, I was like, 'ugh omg that was so unneccessary' , but it really didn't hurt, it just scared me and stung me a little, so I felt bad cause everyone made big deal out of it and I probably made him feel bad. But, I guess I'm kinda glad cause if it did break my nose or something at least everyone wouldn't have laughed at me even though they probably felt like it. :) haha! And now I'm home writing this about to go to bed because I have my last day at work before a long, beautiful holiday!! :) Hopefully I get to hang out with my girlsies!! Hurray!

Don't Look Back

Don't dwell on what God hasn't given you yet, or you will miss the things he has given you now! It is amazing how much more I fall in love with God the more I learn and experience in life. All good and bad things just make me stronger! It's so awesome! The more I give to God, the more content and joyful I am with where I am, and I hope that everyone would find that in their life!!! If you think about it, though, there should be nothing in your heart but building joy. In our youth, we have so much potential to do whatever we can do to make our mark on the world. In our middle age, we can have the joy of being at the most capable time in our life as far as being free to use your own finances and means to do the work of the Lord. In our old age, we are able to still look forward to meeting Jesus in a new place so infinitely better than what we've experienced in this life, to worship him forever. I just can't wait until I'm there. But then again, I can. I just know that the best time in my life is when I'm in church with my brothers and sisters praising our king, or when I'm in a long car ride by myself just talking and confiding in my God, or when I walk outside at night wondering at his creation in the sky. The best thing about my relationship with God is that he never ceases to amaze and I never have anything to be disappointed in. It's great.
Philippians 4:4 , "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"

Amplified

So, I haven't written in quite a while, which I apologize for. This past weekend I went to amplified, a youth conference at Healing Place. It was really, really great, and exactly what I needed.
There were so many things that I have been thinking about in my life that I just need to give to God. Although some of the stuff wasn't for me, because it was for kids in middle school and high school, I did get something out of it. Some of the things that really affected me though, were how he talked about how we had a time limit. It made you think, "When does my time end?" We only have a certain amount of time left on the Earth, and mine could end any second. I could get in a car wreck and die on my way to school tonight. I could start feeling bad and go to the doctor and find out I have cancer and die in a couple of months. I could get murdered at school or work. I could get salmonella poisoning from that sandwich I just ate and die. I could die in five years in childbirth. Or in ten years from a sudden blod clot. lol Sorry for being so gory and weird scary sounding, but I'm trying to make a point. Everyone dies, and you never know when it could happen. So, what am I going to do to make the time that I was on the Earth worthwhile? So, I have decided to make my life make a difference every second I have a chance to. That means making conversation with people in elevators, or maybe that girl who I've sat by in three classes but have never spoken to. I should invite people to my church more often. I need to tell stories of how God has made my life better. I NEED to pray so much more than I do. And I will. And those are the small things. In my justice lab we talked about helping people who have an unjust life, like kids who get sold as sex slaves and the children they have that are, if they are girls, disposed of, and if they are boys, trained up to be soldiers in warring countries in Africa. Not only will that be the only life they know, it is worse than that. They are dehumanized to the point where the commandos addict them to heroin at a young age, and they are told that if they don't fight, they don't get their heroin. They will probably die a frightening death and will never know love in their whole life. Where is the justice there?
These are real problems in our world... not a person losing their 250,000 dollar home or someone getting their car repossessed. Sure, those are bad and I'm all against stopping those things, but we are so wrapped up in our little self absorbed bubbles that we forget that those things don't matter in the end. I hope that I will make Jesus proud and that I will do what he wants me to do in this world, and not be a screw up!!

I am very happy that I went to that conference. It really was great, and I got to hang out with everybody from church which was also a blast! It really made me homesick for heaven when I was in a huge, crowded room with people worshiping Jesus and really giving him their all. Not that I want to die, but I really can't wait to get into heaven. And I hope everyone I ever meet will get to go to!!!

Finally not sick!

I'm finally not sick!! I've been sick for almost a week (5 days!) and I'm finally just getting over it. That makes me so happy. I always think when I'm sick... "omg I want to just feel okay. I need to thank God more when I'm just healthy".
That is so true! When I'm not feeling horrible, I should constantly be praising God! Being healthy is such a blessing. If a was just a little cold, (seriously it must have been something worse cause that was the sickest I've ever felt,lol), then I can't imagine how people feel who are in the hospital for something far more serious. But anyways, that was just my thought on that.
I'm back in school now, hence the sharp decrease in postings on my blog, but so far, it's been all good. I know people in pretty much every class I've been to so far... except my nutrition class, and I have people in there who are really nice and I've had them in classes last semester.. (yeah yeah so maybe I should try to make friends) But unfortunately, I'm no social butterfly.
Anyways, school is okay, my psychology class was boring ON THE FIRST DAY so that's not a good sign ever, but I guess I should just be glad I'm majoring in nursing and not psychology.
Hung out with the image group and it was pretty fun last night. I still had a little cough but I was beginning to feel back to normal. ( I didn't go to church yesterday morning because I felt incredibly weak, probably because I had no appetite while I wasn't feeling well.) We talked about dreams and how stuff you want when you're little changes once you get big. For me, I wanted to be a veterinarian when I was really little and then I wanted to be a 'brain surgeon' once I got a little earlier. We were talking about how you sometimes let go great dreams and chase after smaller, easier dreams that take less time, money, and effort.
While I may admit, yes, maybe I would be more renown as a 'brain surgeon' or whatnot, I believe with all my being that, that dream was other peoples' dreams for me and not my own dreams. I am such a family person and my life really does revolve around God first and family second. I do think I am called to the medical field, but not to the extent of being alone all my life and just being a doctor and not a mother and wife. I wouldn't talk about it at the little group thing because it may have been kinda awkward, you know, considering I don't even have a boyfriend or any 'prospects' for that manner. haha..
But seriously, my heart's desire is to have a big family and to raise children who love God and want to serve his kingdom. And, while I sense that will be a while before that happens because I also have a calling to the medical field, I can accept that waiting because I'm trusting in God to fulfill my dreams. So, that's my dream. Cheers to it. haha
I didn't mean to go that into depth... the main thing I wanted to tell about the meeting was that we went and ate at Cheeburger Cheeburger after and this 14 year old kid ate a 1 pounder hambuger!! I thought he was gonna throw it up everywheres!! haha!

Cause He'll Be By My Side

Today was a pretty easy day. I was planning on going get my books for school but I didn't because I stayed up until about four thirty, (actually almost five), and so I knew I was going to sleep really late. Besides, I can just get my books on the first day of classes. Instead, Tiffany came over and we went and ate at Sonny's BBQ and caught up, then we came home and watched tv and stuff, then we went to church. After church we went to Laurens and caught up with Lauren and Emily. So, I had a good time today because I haven't done anything that I did today in a long time.
Last night I had a really weird dream. I dreamed that I lived in a strange town where all buildings had a glass front, and they were all shops. It was kind of like a mall, except it wasn't. I don't know, if I could draw I would show you how it looked. There were a bunch of 'bad' people and I was trying to stop them from doing whatever bad they were going to do. I had super powers, but unfortunately, they only worked sporadically. This caused me to always have to run away from the people, and eventually it got to a point to where these people were trying to hunt me down. That's all I remember from the dream.
I'm not really sure what this means, but maybe it means that I can (or should) only use my special attributes (I don't know what these are) at certain times, or else bad things will be able to overtake me. Maybe... I don't know. :)
But anyways, back to anything meaningful.
I found this wonderful song, (By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North), and I really love it. I think it pertains to my life a lot. It is spoken from God's point of view and he is asking me why I am looking for everything in this world to cling to. At one point it asks, "Why are you looking for love, why do you search, as if I'm not enough. Who will you run to," or something along those lines.
I think 'Who will you run to? or What will you run to?' is a great question! I should be running to God for everything! That is why I think God is teaching me patience with so much of my life, because he wants me to learn to run straight to him and not cling to anything of this world. All of these thoughts and stuff have really made me happy because I've been praying and thinking about my future a lot in the past couple of months, and I am totally psyched that I am getting to have a relationship with such an awesome God! Where would I be if my life was full of everything besides him? I feel so happy to be growing and to know that all I have to do is place all of my worries in his hands, and love him with my whole heart.
My heart is open for God now! This makes me feel like I'm breathing fresh air and that he has a fantastic plan for me. Every bible verse I have read or heard lately has filled me with a longing to drink in more of him and to place so much at his feet. And I know that everything will work out perfectly as long as I let him be by my side.
I am going to let God write my life story, instead of impulsively ruining the best parts he has planned out for me!

Reading and Writing but no Arithmetic

I am going to start school in a week and a half, and for once, I will not have any classes that are math. I do have chemistry, which has a lot of math in it, but no specific math courses. You have no idea how happy that makes me. After being afflicted by atrocities called Calculus and Alegebra II, life with no math seems like heaven! I am a little worried about the upcoming semester. Last semester I had a 17 hour schedule with a sixteen hour feel (one of my 3 hours classes was only 1 hour a week and one of my 1 hour classes was 2 hours a week). This semester I am going to have another 17 hour schedule, but it will feel more like 19 hours if you count the labs and such. But, I am going to be taking biology as an internet course. I guess this is kind of risky because if the teacher is bad I can't drop the course because this class is a prereq for a prereq for another prereq so I have to take the classes in sequence the next three semesters or I won't be able to get into nursing school. My lab professer isn't a good teacher and so that can be scary because I need a good GPA to get into nursing school.
Even though I have all these stresses I think it will be worth it. Even though nursing school is going to be extremely hard I think it is going to be right up my ally. It will be challenging but something that I've always wanted to do. I've really always wanted to be some time of surgical doctor (not an anesthesiologist but that's what my parents always pushed me for) but now that I'm older I really want a big family and to be a homemaker. So nursing, I think, is the next best thing. If I was a doctor I don't think I would ever be able to practice and if I did then I don't think I would ever be able to really have a family life. As a nurse, you only are required a four year college education, so I will hopefully be able to work for some time before beginning my family. Being able to help people get through the toughest times of the life definately interests me. I don't know what it is about me, but ever since my dad got cancer the first time, I've known for certain that I would end up in the medical field in some way. Now that I'm getting to the point where I'll actually be studying for it, I am really excited. Sometimes I am scared that one day I'll just freak out and start fainting at the sight or blood or throwup or poop or something and I'll have to switch careers. I've just been looking forward to this future so much I don't want anything to mess it up.
I think maybe the reason I haven't met a guy or anything that I feel strongly about is because of this. I think God wants me to wait to get married, because he knows me so much better than myself. I think if I got married in college, (like in 2 years or so I'm saying), I would get caught up in having a family and forget about ever doing nursing or how I want to help people through that. And even though I hate that, I think God is doing what is best for me.
By doing all of this through God's time and not trying to change it, I think I will have a reward beyond what I imagined. It must be true, because I believe God definately has a plan for me, and that excites me and makes me even more anxious to just get into nursing school and begin to learn.
I don't know. Now I think I'm just getting to the point as to where I'm rambling and sounding half crazy, so I think that's all I'm going to talk about that and see where God leads me. All I know is that God is really trying to make me learn to be patient and not get carried away with life. When I learn this, I think he will let everything start to fall into place. What a great, wise, awesome God I serve!

I think this blog thing is going to keep me entertained for awhile. It's kinda fun, once I figure out what I'm going to write about. But, then again, I can always just write about my life, and, if it's too boring to write about, then I can write about someone else's life. Or my cat's life for that matter.
I'm going back to school on January the 14th, something that I don't look forward to that much. Hopefully my teachers won't be absolutely horrible, but there's nothing I can do about that but pray. But I will pray! :) I'm not too worried though, because I believe that God is in control and he won't give me a mountain I can't climb and everything happens for a reason. As cliche as all of that sounds, I believe those are some of the keys to having serenity.
But that wasn't what I was going to write about, so anyways.
School has always been something I've been 'good at', but I sometimes don't think of it as a blessing. When you are 'good' at something, it puts more pressure on you to do well at everything, even when it's something you don't care about. Although I am glad that I'm good at school, it aggravates me that people think I am just handed good grades and that I don't deserve anything I have. Or, because I bought a new car and have a new laptop, people think I don't deserve that. That seriously drives me crazy. Of course I don't deserve these things, but I deserve them every bit as much as any other person. So, on that note, don't make assumptions about people, especially things like that. It's annoying.
And, because I don't want my blog to be one long rant about everything that I hate and everything that nobody wants to hear about, I guess I'll balance that out with something happy to make this thing a little more neutral. :)
Have you ever felt an overwhelming love for other people? I think it is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world. The only problem with the feeling is figuring out just how to express it. If you're happy with your mom or dad, you give them a hug or buy them a little gift. So, how can you express your love for others? I don't know. I would assume that you would just live like Christ and be patient and loving and all that jazz. But shouldn't there be something more? I believe that, being a Christian, others should be able to see you are a Christian simply by being around you about an hour or so. It's an interesting thought to think of how many lives we could effect if every person who was a Christian acted. And, I want to act! I want to show the world God's love. I want to travel to a foreign country and use my time, my money, my heart, my body, and my soul to bring others to Christ, or even to show Christ to them, so that I could maybe plant a seed in their heart.
I want to plant seeds all around me, and I pray that I become more like Christ in every way so that he can be seen through me! I think having an enduring forbearance (if that makes any sense) will definately cause me to see past people's faults (which I should because I have plenty of my own) and enable me to help them.... and through that, they will consequently help me.

Hello World

So this is officially my first 'blog post'... well, on this little site anyways. Jessica forced me to get one... :) not really! I actually need something like this... just because I have a facebook and it has these 'note' things you can write which are basically the same thing, but this has more of a sense of privacy to it, just because everybody and their mom has a facebook and anytime I posted something I would feel like I was being self righteous if I posted something religious or I would feel uber wicked if I didn't (just kidding!). But seriously, I need something where I can just write... or urmm.. type. But anyways, here it goes...
I just finished reading the book Redeeming Love, and, as promised, it was a very good book. There were many times in the book when I teared up and got anxious for the characters. But it wasn't the plot that made me identify and empathize with the characters. I won't give away the ending or anything that will spoil the book, but I will explain enough to help you understand how the book changed the way I look at things. The book is about a harlot named Angel who gets brought out of prostitution by a man named Michael. As the storyline develops, the reader, (and Michael), learns more and more about Angel as she puts down the walls she has built around herself to protect her heart.
This changed my perspective on a few things. Sometimes I forget that people weren't born any different than I. No person is born to go straight to hell. I believe that with all my heart, and it is something that gives me a problem with believing in predestination. When we are all born, we are an empty slate, so to speak. It is the things around us that make us who we are, and only until we get older do we get to choose what things we want to be around.
Angel was trapped in a brothel and unable to change her condition and surroundings. So, she did what anybody would do, she adapted to her surroundings. And when the chance came for her to leave, she clung tightly to the only thing she had ever known. I didn't blame her. Why leave a place where you are accepted to go to a place where you may have a little more dignity, but people only look at your past, the undeniable scarring of a fallen woman that kept her from escaping from something she never put herself into.

What is it about us that makes us want to kick people while they are down? Why is it that we look down on someone who tries to climb out of a bad situation in life, yet mock them if they don't? Have we become so self righteous that we can not even remember where we once were? I honestly was thinking as I read the book," omgsh so of course she's gonna get to marry the wonderful, handsome, perfect man when I have more to offer than her and God knows if I'll ever get married... ever!!" Yeah I know, I'm an idiot! For once thing, as sin is a sin, and I have definately sinned enough to go to hell. I am equal to a prostitute... or was anyways. I was only redeemed because I put my faith in God, and my redemption does not make me any better than one like her.
If I think of my relationship with Christ, though, that is just what it is. I am exactly like a harlot who he has taken away from a brothel and freed. He has freed me from my sins and given me life that I don't deserve, even if I never sin again in my life. I was every bit as broken as Angel, and every bit as undeserving of God's grace as she was of Michael's hand in marriage.
I'm glad I read that book because it also gave me insight on how things will work out in God's plan and in God's time, no matter what I have in my mind. And although I can say that I already knew everything that I have typed about, to be able to see through a story how God's love works and how we are supposed to show his love through ourselves, it gives me a stronger sense of what I need to be.
Because I have been lucky enough to have been brought up so wonderfully and with so much opportunity for myself, it gives me that much more responsibility for others. Because God has saved me, I must save others just as Michael saved others. I must bring others to Christ, only at the expense of my own heart. Because I know that the reward is far greater than I can imagine or dream: a new unbreakable heart that will be able to love and worship my God eternally.

Sorry if my crazy mind is hard to digest... it is a bit late and I don't feel very encouraged to go back and edit. :) Good night!