These are the words I want to live,

I find it hard sometimes to really live out what I want to. If you get what I mean.
As a Christian, there are certain things I want to do, but sometimes I don't make the chance for myself to do them. I'm getting better, but I feel like I have a long ways before I become the person I am supposed to be.

I want to be..
someone who anyone can come to for help.
the person that can make you feel better after a rotten day.
a smile you see when you're walking down the street.
the hug you need.
the one who will listen no matter the situation.
the girl who will still talk to you no matter what you've done.
the girl you talk to no matter what I've done.
someone you can trust with your life.
a friend.
the one who will always take you seriously.
the comic relief.
a comforting hand in a tough time.
the person who will be there even when all I can do is just be there for you.
a prayer warrior.
that person who just loves everyone.
a kind reply to a harsh question.
the bringer of joy.
a compassionate heart without bounds.
a helping hand.
the quiet in a bustling room.

what God meant for me to be.

One of My Best Days

Since I wanted to be relatively close in time to Valentine's Day, and that was something that I had been thinking about, I went ahead and made my last post before this one, (and this one is full of good news!)

On February 6, my nephew, Colton David Cowart was born! It was so exciting! That evening before, I was at church listening to the sermon or whatever,(during a Friday evening service), and I got a text from my mom saying that Natalie was having pains and when she got home she was going to take some castor oil to try and induce labor! Well, after I got home and she was home she drank Castor Oil in orange juice and she drank raspberry tea!

So, then nothing really happened still. Of course her contractions picked up, but nothing happened quickly so we just all went to bed. Well, around 4:30 in the morning Natalie's water broke! She quickly stood up and her and Luke rode off to the hospital, since they pretty much had all of their bags packed anyways.

At the hospital, we pretty much stuck around all day. She was progressing very slowly, like one centimeter every two hours or so, maybe even slower. But, once she got to four centimeters things really started picking up! At one second she was told five, then about twenty minutes later eight, and then just minutes later Natalie was saying it was time to push NOW.

So, we were ushered out of the room and we waited in the hall while she began pushing at about four o' clock. In the hall we were all nervous and jittery and excited at the same time. It was impossible for me to fathom that I was about to experience the miracle of life! And then, while she was pushing, we heard silence in the room except for the doctor talking, and we all looked around at each other with tears in our eyes. And, can I tell you, when I heard that precious baby cry for the first time in his life, I started crying so much. This was the sweetest sound I had ever heard, there is no way to describe it. I don't see how anyone can have an experience like that and not believe in God... much less if you are actually there in the room.

It took what seemed forever for them to do all the things that are necessary to clean up and meanwhile Luke, with tears in his eyes, came out to tell us he was the proud father of a perfectly healthy little boy. His name is Colton David Cowart, 7 pounds 3.6 ounces, and 21 inches long. He was absolutely beautiful. When we walked in the room, Natalie's mom held him first, then my dad, and I don't really remember the order after that! All I know is that he had these big blue eyes and, despite the fact that he had been born less than an hour before, he was just a looking around the room. Jessica held him right before me and immediately burst into tears, and it was so sweet! Then I got to hold him for the first time and that little boy just made me fall in love with him at once. He looked into my eyes and I looked into his and it was awesome.
When Grandad held him, he prayed over Colton and that was yet another tearjerker! I know God is going to have a big hand in this little boy's life, in fact, I think he already has!!

The day quickly ended after that and I felt so blessed that I got to experience that and that I will be able to be apart of Colton's life. That is easily going to be one of my best days.

I can not imagine, if I ever have the privilege, getting married and having my own family. I feel like I have tasted just a tiny bite of a new and amazing type of love, and oh am I hungry for more! :) But, I will see what God has in store for me, and I want to live for his glory no matter the cost... Honestly, it scares me now that I may never have something like that, but I have to trust that he knows what he's doing up there! At least I can be pretty confidant that I will have many nieces and nephews, and that is definately something to be excited about.

I was looking online last night and found these listings for medical missions, which got me really excited! I never knew there were so many opportunities for nurses to go on missions, and I am looking forward to being able to do that one day in the near future, (I mean, to think of it, I will be a nurse in 2 years and 3 months, God willing!)

Oh, and the Saints won the superbowl! How 'bout them apples?!

True Love according to 1Cor13

1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If you give everything to God and put on an awesome show for him, but do not love him, then it is all for nothing. You can pick apart the bible and twist little verses and make yourself seem righteous and holy, but that isn’t what matters to God. What matters is if you have love for Him. That is the importance of love. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. Faith without love is nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,but have not love, I gain nothing. Sacrifice without love is nothing. These first three verses explain how important love is, but then it goes on to explain what exactly love is.

4Love is patient, love is kind. Patient love is love that requires nothing in return. It is love that keeps giving and giving, not expecting anything in return because it is patient enough to wait forever. Other translations will say that love is long suffering, which is the same as patience, except it describes how you will feel when you love someone who doesn’t love you in return, or someone who disappoints you. Jesus exhibited this kind of love when he died on the cross in front of a crowd of people he had come to save. God’s love is patient, and although we disappoint him he loves us still. True love is patient. Hand in hand with this patience is kindness. Because love is patient, it is also kind…. It does not envy, Love does not envy. Love will be two people supporting each other in all of their decisions. It is happy for others when they succeed and get something that makes them happy. it does not boast, it is not proud. True love doesn’t parade and put itself on show. It doesn’t go around being conceited and thinking it is better than others. It just is because it is. Pride and love do not coexist. Because love is not proud, it is humble and modest. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, Because love is kind, it can’t be rude. It is allowing itself to be hurt and allows others to be happy at its own expense. It isn’t seeking to make yourself happy, but it seeks to make others happy. it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. True love doesn’t become angry easily. It won’t count up how many times one has been wronged. God loves us and thankfully does not count our sins but tells us he will forget them and throw them as far as the east is from the west. That is true love. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love isn’t happy when it finds out someone has their heart broken or someone is sad or if you get something you want that God doesn’t want. Love rejoices when the right thing is done. Love rejoices with truth and strives to see that people will understand it. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love will always defend others from harm, whether they deserve it or not. Love is to stop gossip and denounce it before it harms anyone. Love trusts without cause. If your heart is broken because you trusted someone you shouldn’t have, it doesn’t mean to close yourself off, because in order to love you must trust. With love, hope is never lost. Love NEVER gives up no matter the circumstance.

8Love never fails. True love, the true love that God created, NEVER fails. No matter what. It’s always there. God will always love you. True love is giving when you don’t have anything left to give. True love is trusting and hoping when there is no reason to hope left. Love always perseveres and will not give up even when everyone else has lost hope. True love is pure and does not exist without God.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I was just thinking about how I have an immediate 'checklist' when I see a guy. I don't go around checking people out or anything I just personally give myself a chuckle when I do this. When I see any of these things in a guy it is like a red buzzer goes off in my head.
1. Smoking.. Run awayyyy
2. When I hear a foul word I think what a dumbbutt
3. When I hear drinking stories, plans, etc.
4. People who go clubbing.
5. When they check out a girl. (yes we see this and it's gross, especially if im that girl. Btw if you want to come across as a creep, do this!)
6. Guys who put down anybody, whether they deserve it or not!
7. Self rightousness ( on so many levels, not just religiously but basically people with double standards)
8. Piercings
9. Tattoos
10. Flirting
11. I thought this was obvious but I'll just say that if God isn't the number one priority that's a huge dealbreaker with no way around it.
12. Super skinny or super fat people (sorry that one's a bit shallow :/ )
13. rudeness
14. Serial daters
15. Stalkers
16. Guys who wear peacoats (I know I'm wierd)
17. Long hair
18. Apathy
19. Repelling scents
20. Pride (cofidence is good, but being overly prideful is just obnoxious!!)
21. There's more but I was doing this just so I would get tired but I'll type more later.

disclaimer; yes i know I ask a lot but that's just the way I am. Heehee