Hello World

So this is officially my first 'blog post'... well, on this little site anyways. Jessica forced me to get one... :) not really! I actually need something like this... just because I have a facebook and it has these 'note' things you can write which are basically the same thing, but this has more of a sense of privacy to it, just because everybody and their mom has a facebook and anytime I posted something I would feel like I was being self righteous if I posted something religious or I would feel uber wicked if I didn't (just kidding!). But seriously, I need something where I can just write... or urmm.. type. But anyways, here it goes...
I just finished reading the book Redeeming Love, and, as promised, it was a very good book. There were many times in the book when I teared up and got anxious for the characters. But it wasn't the plot that made me identify and empathize with the characters. I won't give away the ending or anything that will spoil the book, but I will explain enough to help you understand how the book changed the way I look at things. The book is about a harlot named Angel who gets brought out of prostitution by a man named Michael. As the storyline develops, the reader, (and Michael), learns more and more about Angel as she puts down the walls she has built around herself to protect her heart.
This changed my perspective on a few things. Sometimes I forget that people weren't born any different than I. No person is born to go straight to hell. I believe that with all my heart, and it is something that gives me a problem with believing in predestination. When we are all born, we are an empty slate, so to speak. It is the things around us that make us who we are, and only until we get older do we get to choose what things we want to be around.
Angel was trapped in a brothel and unable to change her condition and surroundings. So, she did what anybody would do, she adapted to her surroundings. And when the chance came for her to leave, she clung tightly to the only thing she had ever known. I didn't blame her. Why leave a place where you are accepted to go to a place where you may have a little more dignity, but people only look at your past, the undeniable scarring of a fallen woman that kept her from escaping from something she never put herself into.

What is it about us that makes us want to kick people while they are down? Why is it that we look down on someone who tries to climb out of a bad situation in life, yet mock them if they don't? Have we become so self righteous that we can not even remember where we once were? I honestly was thinking as I read the book," omgsh so of course she's gonna get to marry the wonderful, handsome, perfect man when I have more to offer than her and God knows if I'll ever get married... ever!!" Yeah I know, I'm an idiot! For once thing, as sin is a sin, and I have definately sinned enough to go to hell. I am equal to a prostitute... or was anyways. I was only redeemed because I put my faith in God, and my redemption does not make me any better than one like her.
If I think of my relationship with Christ, though, that is just what it is. I am exactly like a harlot who he has taken away from a brothel and freed. He has freed me from my sins and given me life that I don't deserve, even if I never sin again in my life. I was every bit as broken as Angel, and every bit as undeserving of God's grace as she was of Michael's hand in marriage.
I'm glad I read that book because it also gave me insight on how things will work out in God's plan and in God's time, no matter what I have in my mind. And although I can say that I already knew everything that I have typed about, to be able to see through a story how God's love works and how we are supposed to show his love through ourselves, it gives me a stronger sense of what I need to be.
Because I have been lucky enough to have been brought up so wonderfully and with so much opportunity for myself, it gives me that much more responsibility for others. Because God has saved me, I must save others just as Michael saved others. I must bring others to Christ, only at the expense of my own heart. Because I know that the reward is far greater than I can imagine or dream: a new unbreakable heart that will be able to love and worship my God eternally.

Sorry if my crazy mind is hard to digest... it is a bit late and I don't feel very encouraged to go back and edit. :) Good night!