Graduation, Job, House

Well the title says it all!
I have been a busy bee the last few months. I am now a RN, employed in the telemetry unit at Lane, and I am a homeowner!

Graduation was absolutely wonderful! Closing the chapter of life called SCHOOL was something I have anticipated more and more each year. Nursing school, although interesting and a major part of my life, was getting just a bit old. It's been a few months since I graduated now, and I miss all my friends from school so much. I am so blessed to have had them through that journey. It reminds me how much the Lord directs my steps and puts people in my life to watch over me.

Speaking of which, beginning my first job at Lane has been hard. And when I say hard, I mean overwhelming, frustrating, confusing, and even hopeless at times. But the support I get from the other nurses there is absolutely amazing. Although they are busy, they always try to do their best to make sure I am able to do what needs to be done.  That being said, nursing is the most difficult job I could imagine. There is pressure on all sides. My number one concern, the patient, is of course stressful because I am so concerned about their well being, especially if I am worried they are not doing well. Then there is the paperwork..... ohhhh the paperwork. There is so much room for errors! And the doctors.... well.... You know, if a patient needs something, I am going to do my very best to get it for them. But nine times out of ten if you try to talk to a doctor, they act like my sole purpose in life is to make them miserable. You can't say one thing wrong, one most certainly can not ask them to repeat themselves, and heaven forbid you call them twice in a row! The responsibilities! Vitals every four hours, medicine due almost every other hour, calling the doctor and waiting for a call back, rechecking the charts to make sure no new orders are up, running to the patient's room to get a followup vital or stop a beeping pump, PPE on and off on and off on and off, oh look the orders have changed again, and now an admit to do that is going to take an hour to get their new orders in and assess the patient, and don't forget to note off those charts (you better check them 5 times because if one tiny thing was put in wrong on the computer by pharmacy or the ward clerk or monitor tech it is NURSE'S fault), and you better put every. single. thing. you. do. in your charting on the computer! It is never ending anxiety and stress.

And I love my patients, I really do. But my stomach is getting into knots and my adrenaline is pumping just thinking about work right now. I really want to do a good job, and every day I come home feeling like I gave my all and it was no where close to even being adequate. I want so badly to go above and beyond and I feel like I'm not even approaching 'okay'. It's pretty upsetting. It makes you feel like a failure.

That being said, I am so grateful I am done with school. My stress ends when I leave work, (well most of the time). I did have to call last night and ask the nurse taking care of one of my patients to print out something I forgot to print out. On the most part though, I do my very best to not think about work when I am not there. I just do not want to burn out and hate nursing. That is something I am so scared of. I worked so hard to get to this point, and I can not quit. I love the fact that I am a productive part of society and that I am working to help people!

Another added benefit of having a full time job is owning a house!!!
Although I am not living there yet, (Kyle is), I still visit a lot to help clean and upkeep our awesome underground pool! :-)
All in all, I have been living life and trying to put some meaning into it. Making time for God has become even more important ever to me because I want to have something to pour into my patients. On my own, I feel like I will get worn down and become unable to give anything more, but with God, all things are possible.

More than ever, I look forward to marrying my soulmate. Thank God he is in my life. God knew just the right time to bring him to me. I know things aren't always perfect, and marriage will be difficult at times, but having my best friend by my side will help me become the woman that I need to be to make a difference in other people's lives.  God, in doing what only He can do, knew that I needed someone who would hold me accountable to my own beliefs and convictions, and who would encourage me to do what I am supposed to do.

With that, I shall leave you with some pictures of my life as of late!

What Happened to US?

"We became a less civil society. The media stopped reporting news or doing investigative journalism and started creating it. Families broke up and no one was taught respect anymore, for themselves or for others. People stopped believing in alot of things, like doing their best, earning their pay, looking out for others and being kind. Discretion and privacy became old fashioned. Parents stopped being responsible for their children. Instead too many became selfish and attention seeking. Honesty and integrity got lost along the way too. Even the supposed best among us, leaders, religious or secular, teachers etal, began acting like uneducated criminals. Anything goes now. We are inundated with every kind of ugliness we never used to want or need to know. Excess in anything and everything. WillfuI ignorance has become a norm. Just look at who our heros are today. But what's the use of belaboring how much is wrong with attitudes and behavior and abuses of every kind? It starts at home and just gets worse outside the home and at all levels.Gentility, dignity, writing and speaking properly and excellence are lost arts. Good words like "values, honor, pride" have been rendered meaningless. I mourn the loss of the best of America."

-BarbaraS

Engaged

So on Monday, January 16, 2012, I got engaged to my best friend, soulmate, and love of my life! I am still floating around on cloud nine. One girl from school said she's been married for six years and she is still floating. Seems there are a lot of people who have wonderful things to say about marriage, and I think that is because I am surrounded by wonderful people! It is amazing how people either have really awesome things to say about marriage or really awful things to say about it. Usually I find most people have a strong opinion either way. I think if you have the right person and you have God, you will develop and awesome opinion about marriage. And for good reason!

It goes back to one of my blog posts. (http://katelyn-grace.blogspot.com/2011/09/basics-of-my-faith.html) Remember when I said God only creates good? Well God created marriage! So how can people say marriage is awful.....? Simple answer! They leave God out of it!! I believe 100% of divorce cases would be prevented if the couple submitted their lives to Christ.

Now, I do NOT think I am immune to problems... I am fully aware of Murphy's law and I do not tempt it! ;-) I realize that my marriage will be as wonderful as I allow God to make it. I am so excited to have found a man that loves the Lord like I do and who wants to walk with us through the rest of our lives. I know that I have so much to be thankful for, and the beautiful ring Kyle put on my hand reminds me every day to thank God for 'my gift' (that's an insider between me and my Matthew!) ;-) ;-) I am obviously still giddy with happiness. I can not wait until we are married and walking through life together, but I will also enjoy this last year at home with my family. I know it is their love and support and the Lord's guidance that has made me the woman Kyle chose to be his wife. :o)

Maew wedge

I was reading an article on why our generation has problems with divorce. This response by a reader was my favorite:


"No guts. The real reason is we have a generation of wimps. Fear of responsibi¬lity. To weak to take a stand and work through daily problems of life. Unwillingness to make a committment and stand by it to the end. To lazy to work steady at a job to provide for long-term committment and those precious little children. Sure the road is tough in spots along the way but so great are the rewards for those who stick with it. By what authority do I speak? Been married 46 years to the same woman, worked 45 years for the same company, reared two children who both have doctorate degrees and now enjoy five beautiful grandchildren. Was it easy..NO!!, but I committed to it and saw it through. A Christ centered faith is the key. I could not have survived without Him."

Basics of my Faith

So much of what I know or think about God and eternity is stuff I am not entirely certain about. Some people are completely sure of certain theologies or whatnot, but more often than not I generally say, I think it may be this way, but in the end it doesn't really matter and I could be completely wrong. I actually can not think of anything at this particular moment, but I thought that would be a good disclaimer for anything I do ever say in the blog. With Christianity, you have the basics. God is good and he can only create good. The way evil exists is because he gave beings free will, and with free will we do things that deviate from his original purpose. Anything that deviates from what God intended is evil. Actually, some people argue that God created evil. I guess even some things I consider basic knowledge are debatable. But I have no doubt that I am wrong. I just think some people are misinformed. :)
Anyways. Another basic. God gave us free will because he wanted a loving relationship. If you program a robot to love you, is that true love? I say no. If someone falls in love with you because of their own free will, is that true love? Well I would say that it is to be preferred over robot love! So... with this free will, what did we ultimately decide to do? Sin! Which brings me to my next basic...
Everyone has sinned, is unrighteous, and unfit for the presence of God. Yeah. No matter how much good you do, one sin and you are unholy! It kind of goes with the illustration I have heard a million times. If there is a purified water bottle on the counter, would you drink it? Of course you would, why not! Now unscrew the water bottle and drop just a little bit of poop in it. Not a lot, just one tiny little drop. And it's not even bad poop! ;) Okay, so you would not drink it. My facetious comment of "It's not even bad poop!" was meant to be a sort of parallel to how we talk about different sins. For instance, people look down on someone who murders someone more than a person who lies about something. And although I personally would much rather see someone lie than to see someone murder, the fact of the matter is that God can accept neither. So that's that! But the good news is.... there's another basic!
God STILL loves us! So much in fact, that He sacrificed by being born in human flesh, living decades on Earth resisting the same temptations we give in to and being persecuted when He was completely innocent. After living a perfect life, He then gave Himself up as a living sacrifice to bring about a new covenant. How awesome is that? He not only resisted huge temptations, (I've heard people say He was not tempted, but I believe Satan did everything in his power to stop Jesus from God's plan. And that includes a LOT of temptation!), but He who was so good literally took upon the sin of the world. I will quote something quite descriptive from a book I read called Boy Meets Girl . It is actually a quote from When God Weeps, and it was put into the book I read because it is the reality of what Christ experienced.

"The face that Moses had begged to see--was forbidden to see--was slapped bloody (Exodus 33:19-20). The thorns that God had sent to curse the earth's rebellion now twisted around his own brow....
"On your back with you!" One raises a mallet to sink in the spike. But the soldier's heart must continue pumping as he readies the prisoner's wrist. Someone must sustain the soldier's life minute by minute, for no man has this power on his own. Who supplies breath to his lungs? Who gives energy to his cells? Who holds his molecules together? Only by the Son do "all things hold together" (Colossians 1:17). The victim wills that the soldier live on--he grants the warriors continued existence. The man swings.
As the man swings, the Son recalls how he and the Father first designed the medial nerve of the human forearm--the sensations it would be capable of. The design proves flawless--the nerves perform exquisitely. "Up you go!" They lift the cross. God is on display in his underwear and can scarcely breathe.
But these pains are a mere warm-up to his other and growing dread. He begins to feel a foreign sensation. Somewhere during this day an unearthly foul odor began to waft, not around his nose, but his heart. He feels dirty. Human wickedness starts to crawl upon his spotless being--the living excrement from our souls. The apple of his Father's eye turns brown with rot.
His Father! He must not face his Father like this!
From heaven the Father now rouses himself like a lion disturbed, shakes his mane, and roars against the shriveling remnant of a man hanging on a cross. Never has the Son seen the Father look at him so, never felt even the least of his hot breath. But the roar shakes the unseen world and darkens the visible sky. The Son does not recognize these eyes.
"Son of Man! Why have you behaved so? You have cheated, lusted, stolen, gossiped--murdered, envied, hated, lied. You have cursed, robbed, overspent, overeaten--fornicated, disobeyed, embezzled, and blasphemed. Oh, the duties you have shirked, the children you have abandoned! Who has ever so ignored the poor, so played the coward, so belittled my name? Have you ever held your razor tongue? What a self-righteous, pitiful drunk--you, who molest young boys, peddle killer drugs, travel in cliques, and mock your parents. Who gave you the boldness to rig elections, foment revolutions, torture animals, and worship demons? Does the list never end! Splitting families, raping virgins, acting smugly, playing the pimp--buying politicians, practicing exhortation, filming pornography, accepting bribes. You have burned down buildings, perfected terrorist tactics, founded false religions, traded in slaves--relishing each morsel and bragging about it all. I hate, loathe these things in you! Disgust for everything about you consumes me! Can you not feel my wrath?"
Of course the Son is innocent. He is blamelessness itself. The Father knows this. But the divine pair have an agreement, and the unthinkable must now take place. Jesus will be treated as if personally responsible for every sin ever committed.
The Father watches as his heart's treasure, the mirror image of himself, sinks drowning into raw, liquid sin. Jehovah's stored rage against humankind from every century explodes in a single direction.
"Father! Father! Why have you forsaken me?!"
But heaven stops its ears. The Son stares up at the One who cannot, who will not, reach down or reply. The Trinity had planned it. The Son endured it. The Spirit enabled him. The Father rejected the Son whom he loved. Jesus, the God-man from Nazareth, perished. The Father accepted his sacrifice for sin and was satisfied.

The Rescue was accomplished."

Don't move too quickly from this scene. Keep gazing.
The Rescue accomplished here was for you. Did you see your own offenses on the list of sins that necessitated the Cross? If not, name them yourself. Name your darkest sin. Now reflect on the fact that Christ bore the punishment for that sin. He took the punishment you deserved. Do you feel His passionate and specific love for you. He died for you. He was condemned and cursed so that you could go free--He was forsaken by God so that you would never be forsaken (Hebrews 13:5).

So the basics. God is good. We have sinned against Him. He died for us.
What does it mean?
My next basic is that if you believe and love the Lord, His gift of salvation is extended to you.
I won't go into all of the theology behind this, I will only say that the Lord seeks a relationship with everyone. He wants you, and He did His part. If someone gives you a gift, but you do not take it, it is not yours.

So these are my personal 'basics'. Things that I will never question, and are the foundation of my faith. I didn't even intend to write about that, but I went on a tangent from what I intended on writing about so this is the end result. I guess I know what to write about for my next post. Comments are welcome.
Questions go to katelyn.cowart@selu.edu

Love Languages

So I have been bored, so I decided I would take a quiz on my love languages since I always hear people talk about them. Although I am pretty sure everyone uses all of these languages, I think the quiz was correct about which ones are the most important to me.
And here. we. go.

My primary love language is...

Quality Time

In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

So true! Secondly were Word of Affirmation, which was also not a surprise. Acts of service, physical touch, and receiving gifts followed in that order. Interesting. There's a whole book on it, so maybe I will read it one day. :-)

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
Hmmm I would say that someone who I can call anytime with any problem would be my two closest friends, Jess and Tiff :D


Day 09 - A Song That You Can Dance To
Well I guess I can dance to a lot of songs!
But who can't dance to Footloose?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fU0f5bgbj0s